
Sorry, for the delay but I am turning into a right lazy bugger and I have other stuff thats taking up a fair bit of time just now.
So in the meantime, here is another picture, this time its from Loy Krathong.
A TEFL teacher living and working in Bangkok

And here we go again for the next instalment.
Again, I have to say that when you are the farang boss in a school, you cant win. Especially if you are the boss employed by an agency working in a school. You are in an even worse situation. You have the teachers on one side, the agency boss on another and the school on another. Definitely a case of surrounded on all sides.
To a certain extent, how you fill the role is up to you. You can piss off the agency and the school by taking the teachers side, piss off the teachers and school by taking the agencies side and so on. The problem we found quite early on and proved to be the case from then on was that no one was ever on our side. Even if they appeared to be. From a period where a lot of effort seemed to go into doing resources, planning, materials for the teachers, it went one way from here on in. Now the question is, who made that decision? Was there one actually made or did it just start to fall apart from its own entropy?
In many ways the first full year was the happiest for me. I was actually enjoying my job – it was pre blog ! – and overall it was a pretty good bunch of folk. There weren’t too many hassles in the staffroom and most of us socialised together to one level or another. It got to be a little club so to speak. Of course if you were looking from outside it probably was described as a clique. But that’s the point of about groups, there is always the looking in and looking out point of view. Was the group I was in perfect? No, not by a long way but it takes allsorts as they say and more importantly, if you are on your own in a foreign country – especially if you are new – it can be a very lonely depressing experience.
A couple of after school bars quickly became favourites and fell out of favour and back in and so on but probably during this period the one that stood out, sometimes by default later on, but initially by choice was Bobbys Arms. I wish I had taken some photographs of the place but I never quite got round to it. I think it was the age old don’t worry it will be around for ever as will I attitude. So, if anyone has some photos of that golden age, please let me know! Others that became honourable mentions or just mentions were The Exchange, O’Reillys, Bar Dog,
There is a great stereotype and reputation about English teachers that we are all sub human because – in no particular order – we are
Sexpats / whoremongers
alcoholics
socially inadequate – ranging from not being able to get laid in our own country, to being marginally or not so marginally looney tunes
poor
scruffily dressed
etc etc
Now I have to admit that some of the people who I met and worked with did indeed play up to those stereotypes. Of course the question is now, did they come to Thailand because they were those types or did they become those types because they came to Thailand. Of the two camps, I would say that they were either those types before or were destined to become those types.
The poor bit is a bit unfair because the poorest English teacher still earns more ( say 30K all in ) than a lot of Thais but we just prefer to spend differently. And most of the people of who go on about poor English teachers are those on true expat packages at 100K a month plus expenses plus plus Which will bring me onto another rant in a while if I remember.
Anyway, in this group we had quite a range of people, some who had married Thai women and had kids, some who were married and hadn’t had kids, some who were living and were going to get married, some who had no intention to get married and were playing the field, some who wanted to get a nice girl somewhere, some who just wanted to have fun in their gap year, some fully qualified teachers – as in qualified to teach in their own country, some Thailand qualified – as in degree plus TEFL certificate, some with degree and some with errr certificates from that well known university of Khao San – allegedly.
On the whole, the agency appeared to care about standards but on a practical level it came down more to pragmatism and getting bodies in the classrooms that mattered. I don’t really remember too much discussion or division about who had what in the staffroom. There was never any great oh look at him we cant talk to him he hasn’t got a degree or he isn’t a fully qualified teacher like us, we cant talk to him. Of course, if it came out that so and so had a fake, it was talked about or more accurately gossiped about but that was the extent of it if the person was decent. If they were a prat then of course bets were off and a few comments were made or information held for future use as a bargaining tool.
That first year was a bit of a blur in some ways as many people came and went. Someone worked out that we had a turnover rate of about 40% give or take. The problem was the usual story of people being hired and not turning up, turning up and staying a day, a week, a month as they didn’t like the job, didn’t like the school, got a better job, their boyfriend / girlfriend moved home so they had to follow, didn’t want to live in Bangkok, couldn’t get up in the morning, couldn’t be arsed or whatever.
Part of the problem of this little retrospective is that the memories are now fading of some details and the bigger situations and rants have already been written about in the early part of the blog. So if you were one of those fools who have been reading this from the start then sorry, here are some repeats.
In various ways we all have our buttons that others can press and from the mild mannered Bruce Banner we are suddenly shouting “Don’t make me angry, you wouldn’t like me when I am angry” and from there it is but a little trip down Straws Lane along Camels Backs and the world is suddenly green. On the whole I think I got on pretty well with the vast majority of people I worked with. Yes, some things annoyed me and I have no doubt some things I did annoyed others but mostly they were quickly forgotten about or written about and forgotten about. But, but, but, there are two people that I graded beyond annoying, beyond being a prat into that area of actual dislike.
One is, well, actually they both are American as it happens. Da Daa daa da DAAAAA!
Eric. He is not to be confused with Canadian Eric, who just happens to be even larger – as in both well over six foot and big. This is basically fat yank Eric. If you imagine the worst sort of ambassador for you country abroad and he would be pretty much up there.
Despite having no experience at all, within about a week of arriving he was the expert in everything, he knew how to change things, to make them better. Even when things were explained to him again he didn’t like it. My main beef with him arose when we started doing the exams. The previous year myself, Simon, Blake and John ( in other words all the P1 teachers ) all agreed to test our kids together. Two people would look after the Speaking test, one the listening and the other the Reading and Writing and whoever did the test did the marking. If you did the Listening test, you did the Listening marking and so on. It worked very well in practice as the workload was evenly spread out and was far better than doing it individually. This time I outlined how it would work to the group and suggested we all do the same. Everyone agreed. I said I would do the speaking test with someone else which meant we would do the marking for that. In some ways it was the easiest in that you were doing the marking as you went along and there was nothing to do after the exam. But, it meant you HAD to complete all the tests during the allotted time. You couldn’t suddenly say ok, times up, oh dear we haven’t tested 5 kids so they get zero.
Great, so we start the exams and its going fine then fat boy comes up and says it isn’t fair. What isn’t fair? I say. The marking he says. ? Its not fair. You aren’t sharing all the work. You wont have any marking to do after and I have spoken to the others and they agree.
In other words fuckwit had realised that he had a cushy number during the exams but would have to work afterwards and thought it wasn’t fair. When again the differing amounts of work was pointed out to him again he still didn’t get it. We all had the same amount of marking as each other, we all had the same amount of work as each other, it was just in a different time slot. If those doing the Speaking test started marking the other tests, they would end up doing more work than the others. He still didn’t get it. He said everyone else felt the same and that basically I had bullied them into accepting this arrangement. Now for those that know me, that is a farcical suggestion, I couldn’t bully a paper bag!
When I spoke to the others, it turns out that they weren’t that bothered. It was just fat boy. I stood my ground and that was basically that, we never got on again. He also tried to pull a fast one in the next batch of tests ( that him and Scrappydoo did together ) and mark his kids with a Bell Curve instead of a flat score. Nice one, make his scores look good and better than the rest of his. Not to tell tales, but I soon put a stop to that :)
Oh yes, another reason is that he brought his little university girlfriend in at the end of term time and she actually helped him do some of his work – I think the marking!! Because of this old Wayne boy was persuaded by Eric that it would be ok for the gf to have on her CV that she worked in the school!!! Unbelievable.
The most amazing thing is, that every time you spoke to him it was very clear that he didn’t like Thailand. He was only there for as long as it took to get his girlfriend back to America where they would marry and live happily every after in a decent country i.e. America. Just about every time someone spoke to him about Thais and Thailand he would always be running them and it down. Every so often we had cultural seminars to cope with during the school downtime but agency up time. On one occasion, we were asked why we came to Thailand etc and he replied to come get my girlfriend to marry me and get the hell out. Well you can imagine the faces of those attending – especially the Thais!
And here we go for the next instalment.
So basically I was on the lookout for a new job. The agency I had been doing corporate work for - Elite - had actually offered me a job not long after starting with them, about the middle of June I think. But they offered me about 25k, although that would have increased my income, it meant working more hours. Nah.
About 6 weeks later, I was chatting with the head man and the subject came up again and this time the offer was 28k. More interesting but still not enough to tempt me. Another 6 weeks or so and the offer was upped to 32k. Well, ok I though, that’s a bit better I might as well give it a go and see what happens.
So, off I trot to have the interview with the DOS – Raymond Kerr - at Assumption and he comes across as very competent, very clued up and a fellow countryman. Sorted. The only problem was, this was now October and I wouldn’t start working there until the end of the holidays.
My first day brought a shock as I discovered the DOS had moved on. The story is that it was one of these “mutual decisions” or at least it was mutual from the sense of both parties realised that they couldnt work with each other. The DOS was too outspoken, too knowledgable, too ready to fight the corner of his staff against the agency. In other words the sort of guy you want on the teachers side, your side against the agency.
The set up was a little bit odd in the sense that the agency had a contract to provide all staff to the school. So we were all teachers in a school but employed by the agency. We had in effect two bosses, the agency and the school, this as you can imagine led to some strange situations where communications broke down, were interrupted and in some cases invented!
It has to be said that I learnt a lot from my first six months there. The TEFL course gave me an idea, Wat Plabachai school taught me a lot about self preservation, if not teaching, but Assumption taught me a lot about teaching. Or at least the teachers in my year group did. In a way I was quite fortunate in that I had a “real” teacher in the group PGCE –
One of the consequences of the boss leaving was that they had to promote someone to replace him. The choices were to be honest not that successful. One was a decent teacher but the man management skills were definitely lacking, a point which he readily acknowledged himself. The other appointee was a very nice chap who was the other extreme, who took ages to make a decision and didn’t want to upset anyone. Step forward John and Tony. Admittedly they did have the awkward position of being between the good, the bad, the ugly and the downright stupid. You can decide yourself who are the teachers, the school, the management and the agency. Having seen what goes on in all schools over the last four years, it would take a lot more than 60k a month to make me take that sort of job. Moaning from one side, moaning from the other sid, moaning from both sides and all the bitching and none of the credit.
Out of school John was a fairly decent person ( if he brought money for his drinks ) and Tony was a quiet soul who largely kept himself to himself and his wife who then came in as a curriculum development consultant or a similar title.
The other teachers were the usual mix of folk in either Thailand or the school for a year, people with too much alcohol in their blood stream or too much blood in their alcohol stream, people who had been there for years, people there for a week, a day or be the invisible man and not turn up at all.
Just to show my naievity at that point, at the end of the year I had to go home. I needed a new visa and my original ticket was going to expire, so I asked if I could use the sick days that I hadn’t used instead of taking unpaid leave. And the answer was no I couldn’t. Instead of being like everyone else and taking a sickie I was the berk who tried to be honest. I learned that lesson.
The new school year started and a new boss appeared. At first we thought OK it should be an improvement. Ah, the dreams of the forlorn! No it wasn’t. In the end it proved to be the start of the decline of the

As it is unlikely this blog will continue on for much longer, I am offering the chance for you dear reader to participate in this activity, this glorious nonsense, this murderation of the english language etc etc. You can send me little tidbits of information, especially if its about the purple soul eaters, little articles and let me link them up a la Stickman or indeed you could have your own byeline. The offer is open to anyone doing a TEFL course, teaching or just bored.
I suppose as the time draws near for returning home a little retrospective is called for.
Why did I choose to come here and teach? Well, basically I wanted to work abroad somewhere before I got too tied down, too old, too scared, too trapped. For a lot of people the thought of moving job is scary. It is ranked as one of the most stressful things a person can do in their life. Add in moving – which is also one of the most stressful add in moving halfway round the world and you can see why a lot of people wont do it.
Why did I start writing the blog? Basically I just needed an outlet to get rid of some frustrations. It wasn’t intended to be for a mass audience, it wasn’t intended to please others, it was just a way for me to keep calm. I already was writing on my web site about work but wanted another site where I could say what I wanted and use sweary words without folks at home getting too upset.
Does this tale have a happy ending or did I just steal the Oasis song for the hell of it? You will need to wait and see, as will I, because it may or may not depending on certain people. Cryptic? You bet. Maybe I will tell all, maybe I wont.
Four and a bit years ago, I was looking to see which course I wanted to do I looked around and basically came down to two choices. One was the CELTA which meant
I had been to Thailand before on holiday and had an idea of what it would be like, but of course, living somewhere and being on holiday are two different things. So, I did all the research, looked at all the internet pages – just how on earth people research this sort of stuff before the internet? – and got scared. This was the time of the TEFL flame wars on ajarn.com, Daves eslcafe.com and a few other sites. The wars were brutal, I mean no holds barred downright brutal between the two main protagonists, Bruce from TEFL International on one side and Leigh and James from Text n Talk on the other. I ended up asking Bruce to cut out some of this and for both sides to calm down and have intelligent discussion and was basically told to piss off to another web site that was more civilised!
Surprisingly after that, I still went ahead and booked a place in Bruces course. I figured as much as the CELTA name was well known it was based in
The course itself was really good and I learnt a lot. The course obviously covered all the main areas like class management, teaching techniques, phonology, grammar etc etc The size of the course was twelve people including me which I think is about the right size. Its big enough to get a decent group dynamic, get lively discussions, allow everyone a chance to take art in activities, a mix of partners ( which if you don’t like someone is very important! ) yet small enough to feel you are a group without splintering into cliques. A big group could mean you never get to really talk to a lot of people, some activities take far longer allowing boredom to creep in and of course there is less attention from the trainer. So twelve was about right.
Of the original twelve, I think I am the last one to actually work as an English teacher. There is still one person working in
The job hunting support wasn’t as big as they advertised – it mostly consisted of a folder in the common area with cut outs of the Bangkok Post and a few faxes from schools looking for people - but it was still enough for me and a couple of others to organise a job while we were still there.
So onto my first job….

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